but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
COCAINE IS GR8
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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