you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize