is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Houston, we have a blender
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
