3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize