I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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