No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
