Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize