I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
