just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
