Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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