i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize