is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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