How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
