I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Say something about gay babies.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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