i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
