Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
