There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
