At least make sure they are 18
Why
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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