please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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