Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
