I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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