lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
