Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
FUCK WHALES
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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