How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
