there's paper in my vomit.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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