I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
