only if we run a train.
done.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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