Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
