I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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