3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize