i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
