Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
