Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
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