dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize