I need help removing her.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I will pee on everything he values.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
