Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
