Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have demons in me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
