He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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