I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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