Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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