I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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