he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize