its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
