I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
