Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
