he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
