All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
