please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
