His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
