Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
