I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
