Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
