I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
