she looked like the before picture.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize