Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
