Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
