The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
