Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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