omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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