it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
