i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
