she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
