If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
