Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
