so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
