i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
